Love someone who loves you,
Love someone whom you don’t even know how he feels for you anymore.
It isn’t something I should think about, but I can’t deny that it bugs me every now and then. More often than it should.
Should I be feeling bad that you have feelings for me but I cant reciprocate? Or should I move away from you? But I don’t want to lose a friend like you. I’ve tried to asked myself whether I have fallen for you subconsciously. Sometimes I’m confused, yet sometimes I’m crystal-clear. I probably mistook you being super nice to me to me liking you, because these two are actually miles apart. I can’t be more thankful to have such a great friend like you, but at the same time how much you would do for me makes me feel guilty.
On a side note, there’re many other things happening my life that I’m grateful for, meeting new people, making new friends, being there for my close ones, having fun times together, moving towards motivation to handle my studies well. Life’s still pretty good to me, I must say :)
It has been almost.. half a year since we had a proper conversation. I miss you so damn much but I am still hiding it inside me. I wonder if you still even remember about me, about us. It’s tiring to bury the feelings deep down in my heart so that I won’t get affected, but I’m getting used to it. Just because it is not the right time, I know I can’t let these feelings control me. And I can’t let anyone know about these feelings.
Will I ever stop loving you? I doubt so…